Whispers in the night

I whisper in her ear. My cheek rubbing softly on her fresh sweet skin. My words are quiet and slow. I'm sorry. 

She sleeps and barely stirs as I pour out appology after appology. I'm sorry I got mad. 

She smells like heaven but I didn't treat her like precious treasure.  I shouldn't have done thatI'm sorry I reacted that way. 

Whispers and tears. Mama is so sorry for her temper today. 

I am good at apologies. They are frequent words in this house. I'm sorry I was not patient when I ask you to be always. I'm sorry I was not kind, when that is what's most important. I'm sorry my words were harsh and my heart was hard. 

She needed me and I felt bothered. I complained and belittled my job of mothering today quite a bit. I was frustrated and I was harsh, mean, and everything a mama should not be. I'm sorry. 

He has so much to say. And I have little desire to listen. These smallish things will some day be bigger things and I will lose my chance to be an influencer in his world. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you more today. I'm sorry I complained about you and your needs today when you weren't around. 

Whispers in the night. Words of humility and love. Proof of the reality that I am learning, changing, growing and still stumbling, but never giving up. 

I'm sorry my loves. Mama loves you so. I am going to try harder tomorrow. Mama loves you so. Sleep and dream. Tomorrow is new and I will try again. 

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